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I must reluctantly admit that when I sat down to write this column, I was not putting my pen to paper with you, the reader, in mind. Instead, I was writing for me. Since I am a work in progress, I need to hear the following critical message repeatedly so that I internalize it, and most importantly apply the teachings to my life. Okay, now that my shameful disclaimer is out of the way, let’s roll! Which is more harmful: gain or loss? What a silly question, is it not? To most folks, my inquiry appears insane. How could someone find more harm in acquiring something compared to losing the same thing? For example, when we talk about money, is it not always better to have more money than less money? There is ample evidence that demonstrates that the more money we have does not equate to more happiness and contentment. In fact, just the opposite regularly occurs; the more money we have the more problems we encounter and the result is discontentment and unhappiness.

To the contrary, many studies conclude that those who have less money or who have suffered a significant loss of their wealth, in the end, are much happier! On the surface, the notion that less is better appears ludicrous, but I am a living example of why it is not. I know the power of < = > or stated perhaps more simply, less equals more. Until I surrendered to the so-called “rat race,” which Oxford Dictionary defines as “A way of life in which people are caught up in a fiercely competitive struggle for wealth or power; an exhausting, usually competitive routine,” I had simple tastes. I was easily satisfied with the best and I wanted it now. I was never ever satisfied and always looked at situations from a pessimistic point of view. One person described me as having a Teflon view to the positive while having a Velcro outlook to negativity. Nevertheless, more, more, and more was my mantra. The “wanting more” disease got a hold of me and would not let go.

For as long as I can remember, I always had this annoying littler bugger in my ear whispering, “What’s next, Harry? You certainly cannot be satisfied with what you just accomplished. You are better than that. Stay in beast mode. Don’t be content, charge on!”

This “there” is better than “here” mindset reminds me of one of my favorite quotes (author unknown), “One day you’ll be dreaming of something you have now!” Oh my…how true! 

A quote in one of author Mark Manson’s books was spot on regarding the notion of < = > (less equal more),  “Always wanting more causes you to become overly attached to the superficial and fake, to dedicate your life to chasing a mirage of happiness and satisfaction.”  I believe from the depth of my being that if we want to be truly happy; we must be appreciative and be grateful for who we are and what we have. Although I know, a simple and uncomplicated life arguably brings more happiness and contentment; for many of us, our egos often get in the way. It constantly tells us that a better life is built on the foundation of more is better, as in be more, buy more, own more, make more, serve more, etc., all while we work ourselves into the ground at the sacrifice of our mental and physical health.

Why do so many of us fools try to succeed at this futile journey of more is better? Is it because we want to keep up with the Joneses or the fame and recognition that come with so-called success or perhaps it is due to the almighty buck. Speaking of the greenback, Jen Sincero, in her engaging book, “You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth,” reminds us of the incredible influence money has on us when she said, “We love money, hate money, obsess over money, ignore money, resent money, hoard money, crave money, and bad-mouth money. Money is rife with so much desire and shame and weirdness it’s a wonder we can utter the word above a whisper, let alone go out and joyfully rake it in."

I will admit it and I am not ashamed to say it aloud, I love money. Perhaps you do, too. Nevertheless, as I am sure you will agree, money is a double-edged sword. In other words, the fire that fuels also consumes. In the end, would life not be incredibly joyful if we did not have envy, resentment, stayed cheerful in spite of our troubles, and to be faithfully grateful for what we have instead of focusing on what we do not have? As I continue to work on my shortcomings, I have been intensely practicing presence, acceptance, surrender, and letting go and letting God. How about you? This is Harry Pappas Jr., and I approve this message!

 

 

Harry Pappas Jr. CFP Managing director-investments; Master of Science Degree Personal Financial Planning; Certified Estate & Trust Specialist; Certified Divorce Financial Analyst
Pappas Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors, 818 North Highway A1A, Ste 200, Ponte Vedra, FL 32082;
904-273-7955; harry.pappas@wellsfargoadvisors.com.

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