Divorce, separation and summer vacation schedules

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Special to the Recorder

Summer planning can be complicated for families when the parents of minor children are separated, divorced, getting divorced or were never married. For some separated parents, the age-old questions of who gets the children, when and for how long, can make this planning complex and contentious.

The first question is whether the parents have a court order or judgment that designates a summer timesharing schedule. If so, they must follow that schedule, yet may vary it by agreement. If the parents do not have a court-prescribed schedule, they will have to get one, make an agreement or “catch as catch can.”

When summer timesharing is ordered, separated parents usually may bring children on traveling vacations during that parent’s scheduled timesharing, but extended or international trips can raise issues if not addressed in existing court orders. Varying summer schedules and the costs of summer camps and activities can also create conflicts. Ideally, parents should work out their differences by agreement. Without a court order or agreement, however, parents may have to resort to the courts.

Anticipating such issues and advanced planning can go a long way toward avoiding adding tension to the situation. The best practice is to plan, communicate with each other and be flexible. These situations demand parents focus on solving problems with what’s best for the children.

Even with a court order in place, figuring out dates when children will be with each parent during the summer can still be challenging. Some routine orders use less specific phrases such as “five days after school recesses” or “one-half of the summer break,” and leave parents to agree on exact dates. Varying school schedules as well as parents’ vacation dates, work travel and other employer demands can further complicate matters.

Travel aside, summer timesharing might have other conflicts. Issues about who will watch the children and what they will be doing must be navigated along with summer camp or activity choices and the expenses related to each, if not clearly ordered.

These potential disagreements might be resolved through compromise, reasonableness and common sense. Yet, parents dealing with these issues often think, “I do compromise, am reasonable and certainly have common sense. The problem is (fill in name or non-affectionate nickname for other parent).” Although some cases do involve only one blameworthy parent, one should not ask a family law attorney or judge if he or she can recall one.

Other summer vacation questions may involve where the child will be while on vacation, who will accompany the parent and child and how the non-vacationing parent might communicate with the child while they are traveling. A frequent issue with the place of the vacation is whether the child will need a passport. Federal law requires both parents to authorize issuance of a passport to a child. This requires cooperation between parents, not to mention agreement as to whether the child should travel outside the country.

Some vacation-related objections are legitimate. Others can be more about a power struggle. These struggles are usually more about blame and resentment and less about the genuine interests of the child. When divorced or separated parents do not resolve these issues by themselves, they might need help from a family law attorney. Remember, the attorney and courts need time to act, and that is just another reason to work on summer vacation long before the summer.

Lawrence Datz has spent more than three decades practicing family law. Board certified in marital and family law, Datz is a Fellow of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. He is also past president of Florida’s Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.