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‘What an awesome column,’ she said

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As of August 27, 2015, the word awesomesauce is now in the Oxford English Dictionary. Ladies and gentlemen, we have to do something about “AWESOME” and “awesomesauce.” Here are words I came across on the internet connected to awesome. There are plenty of others, but I will only tell you a few: “Awesomeatic, awesomematicular, awesomealicious, awesomezatasticalious.

It’s not only kids who have taken to sprinkling this word upon the landscape. Grown-ups are guilty too. When did we stop using awesome to describe nature? The towering palm trees… the Atlantic ocean… the flowers of spring? If you look out your car windows much can justifiably be described as awesome. Totally. The word simply means “Excellent or extremely good.”

Kids say, “Oh man. Your bikini is awesome.”

“Awesome job pressure washing the driveway.”

“Wow, Mom! These cupcakes are awesome.” Using the word awesome should be used because you are moved to tears—something that moving or beautiful. I have never been close to tears over a cupcake. A hot fudge sundae, perhaps, but not a cupcake. No doubt it drove our parents crazy to hear the words “Cool” or “Neat” or worse, “neatsy” or “neat-o” that we used all day long. I still catch myself saying “cool,” and it makes me mad. Depending on what part of the country you lived in, you may recall the two-word phrase from the ‘60s “Wowie Zorch.” It meant something was… awesome.

What is the matter with “fabulous, wonderful, fantastic, impressive” and dozens of other great words? In point of fact the noun “awe,” is defined as wonder, solemnity, dread, fear, admiration, worship, adoration and more.

The Urban Dictionary says, “Awesome is something Americans choose to describe just about everything.” I describe my weekend to my son and he responds, ”Sounds like you had an awesome weekend, Mom,” I don’t call a breakfast after church at Beach Diner, a movie, a meeting with Florida Writers or two walks at Bird Island with my dog a description of an awesome weekend.

The Urban Dictionary adds that Americans use the all-encompassing word to hide their singularly poor vocabulary. I read somewhere it is one of the three words used by Americans regularly: “Ohmygod, awesome, and sh&*!” Getting back to the OED, Butt-dial is another word recently added, which will get no explanation here. Hangry is defined as “Bad-tempered or irritable as a result of hunger” It’s another newbie to the list, along with “Rando: A person one doesn’t know but is regarded as suspicious.” Never heard of “Wine o’clock and beer o’clock.” That’s the appropriate time of day to start drinking wine or beer.

Well, you’ll be glad to know I am not going to leave you growling about this. I am here to offer solace. If you hear the word “awesome” one more time and are ready to perform hara-kiri, listen to the song, “My God is awesome. He can move mountains. Keep me in the valley. Hide me from the rain…” It’s a beautiful song, and you can find it on the internet.

Yes, God qualifies as awesome.