I’ve got to be real with you; the raw and uncut version. I have an embarrassing confession to share, so away I go. ...
Far too often, I feel good when others feel bad. Yep! I regrettably admit it and, of course, I wish I did not succumb to this disgraceful characteristic of human behavior known as schadenfreude, especially when philosophers like Arthur Schopenhauer refer to schadenfreude as “an infallible sign of a thoroughly bad heart and profound moral worthlessness,” the worst trait in human nature.”
The German scholar, affectionately known as the “philosopher of pessimism,” said that anyone caught enjoying the suffering of others should be shunned from human society. Yikes! Am I that bad? Well, YES! According to Merriam-Webster, Schadenfreude is a compound of the German nouns Schaden, meaning “damage” or “harm,” and Freude, meaning “joy,” so schadenfreude means joy over harm or misfortune suffered by another.
Whether or not you want to admit it, I would bet you too have experienced the guilty pleasure of someone’s problem. If not, I tip my hat and applaud you for a job well done, as I find that kind of rare humility wonderfully attractive. Nevertheless, I suggest that we are living in a golden age of schadenfreude. If there is any doubt, all we have to do is watch, listen or read political commentary.
It is shameful!
So why do so many of us fall prey to having pleasure in others’ adversities? I believe it has to do with the disease of comparison, which I argue is rampant in today’s culture thanks to the world of social media, which allows us, with a click of a mouse, to scroll through thousands of photos of other people’s perceived “perfect lives” while we lament about our shortcomings.
There is a growing body of evidence that screams how the comparison trap is incredibly harmful to our mental and physical well-being.
Although I am guilty of catching the comparison disease from time to time, I clearly understand and appreciate that when I am attached to how I think things should be, I will never be content or happy.
I like what Teddy Roosevelt said: “Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Now, when the comparison monster rears its ugly head and tries to fill me with schadenfreude, I immediately say, “C’mom Harry! Really? You are better than that! Don’t go there, as you know that where the love flows the blessings go!
At the risk of ending this narrative on too much of a downer, I wanted to share a quote from the cultural critic Friedrich Nietzsche, whose writings focused on truth and morality; “To see others suffer does one good. To make others suffer even more so. This is a hard saying, but a mighty, human, all-too-human principle.”
Folks, let’s just say NO to schadenfreude and then we can watch the magic appear in the form of peace, gratitude and joy!
Harry Pappas Jr. CFP®
Managing Director-Investments
Master of Science Degree Personal Financial Planning
Certified Estate & Trust Specialist ™
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™
Pappas Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors
818 North Highway A1A, Ste. 200
Ponte Vedra, Florida 32082
904-273-7955
harry.pappas@wellsfargoadvisors.com
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