Sometimes it feels like we are surrounded by life coaches. Part of the appeal is ease of entry. There are no licensing or education requirements. All you have to do is type the words “Life Coach” after your name and you are one. Try it. Write your name on a piece of paper and then write the words “Life Coach” underneath. It is very empowering.
When I was younger, I did some coaching. I was not a life coach; I was a soccer coach. I coached a team of girls for seven years and then different teams of boys for four more. The girls were easier to coach than the boys. I spent a lot of time teaching basics, how to run, kick with your laces, and pass and receive the ball. We did some of the drills over and over and over. I wanted the girls to be able to do those drills in their sleep. Coaching at any level is about a lot more than just exuding motivation. It is one thing to tell someone to do something. It is quite another to teach them how.
One of the things that always surprises people when I start talking about my coaching experience is the amount of time I spent tying shoes. Many of my players did not know how to tie their shoes at all. Most of the rest did not do it correctly. I would get down on one knee and tie my players’ shoes before games and during practice. You cannot play your best if your shoes are a mess. It was also an opportunity to connect with each kid individually.
Legendary basketball coach John Wooden led the UCLA Bruins to 10 national championships over a 12-year period. It is a record that will probably never be equaled and earned Wooden the nickname “the Wizard of Westwood.” One of those championships came in 1970 with a finals victory over the Jacksonville University Dolphins.
The first practice of each season, Wooden sat his players down and taught them how to tie their shoes. The instruction was very detailed. Before his players learned the famous UCLA zone press or the legendary Bruin fast break, they learned how to put on their socks and lace their shoes.
Real coaching is often about the basics. These days it feels like coaching is about dispensing platitudinous advice like not giving up on your dreams or eliminating toxic people from your life. Some dreams are not worth pursuing. Life coaches do not seem to tell anyone that. They are not paid to be critics. That is unfortunate.
I think that if I were a life coach, I would start out by telling clients how to tie their shoes. I see a lot of people walking around these days with untied shoes. The laces are either stuffed under the tongue or flopping around like overcooked spaghetti. I guess it is supposed to be a fashion statement. But how are you going to learn how to walk confidently into a room, stick out your hand and introduce yourself if your shoes are untied. You might trip or just look like a fool.
Some people want to be told that they deserve fortune and fame or that they can manifest the same just by imagining it. It seems it would be a lot more valuable to be taught how. It is a lot like lacing your shoes. You start at the bottom and work your way up slowly pulling each rung tight and snug until it is perfect. Then you move on to the next rung.
Scott A. Grant is a local writer, author and historian. By day he is a fiduciary asset manager with Standfast Asset Management. He is not a life coach.
