Ah, THE PLAYERS is here! And more than anything, you’d probably like to know who is going to win. We have an expert for that, and it’s not A.I. It’s our Crystal Ball, who I named Sophie last year after a character in “Funny Woman,” a PBS series about a young woman in the 1960s who people thought was hysterically funny. So funny that she got her own TV show in the U.K. Now it seems, she has to hang up her go-go boots. There are not going to be any more episodes, so the ball is probably due for a name change. I’ll break that gently.
Anticipating the kind of mood that could create, I sent Sophie out for a good polish, sort of a mani-pedi for crystal, and she’s all prettied up, sparkly, and I hope, ready to offer some predictions. She’s kind of temperamental, though.
She needed something, honestly, because the cold winter gave her kind of a nasty, gray hue. A winter pallor. She just wasn’t herself at all. But I think she’s up to it now.
Sophie just did a really nice twirl with a back flip. We are just finishing with the Olympics, after all, but these gymnastics are because her favorite player, Rickie Fowler, PLAYERS champ in 2015, is in the field. He made the top 50 last year, so he’s well inside the margin of the new rules for who can play. This always puts her in a good mood, so I’m going to take advantage of that to get the inside scoop.
She just reminded me that his victory march was considered epic because he finished eagle-birdie-birdie-birdie-par-birdie to get into a playoff, which he won. Completely impressive. But that was then. We are looking at Now. Well, Rickie could still win it, but it depends on his “want to” and practice routine at this point. He knows how to do it because he’s already done it.
Now, Sophie doesn’t do A.I. She’s instinctive. And right now she doesn’t think Rory will repeat as champ, not that he isn’t capable. She thinks he’s ticking the boxes on tournaments he wants to win before he decides whether or not to continue to play golf.
When I’ve heard players or their family members say things like that, I never believe it. The reason is that few other things give them the excitement of competing and the sheer joy and satisfaction of winning. There are lots of things they like to do, but, really, nobody applauds when you walk through the living room or when you sink a putt for a victory? You get the picture.
So, if not Rory, then who? She is taking a look at Xander right now. X-man has always been a favorite of hers. Not quite as much as Rickie, but he does have a sense of humor in the media center and gives a couple of writers grief for some of the questions they ask. She just turned on Golf Channel, and Xander was tied for the lead at Genesis with Matt Fitzpatrick. Of course, we have another three-and-a-half weeks. A golfer can get hot or iceberg cold in that length of time.
And, really, Matt Fitzpatrick is not a bad choice, either. Sophie agrees. She gave a cute twirl with a shimmy that made her facets sparkle. Should we call him something fun, like Matty-Fitz? After all he won the Alfred Dunhill Links at St. Andrews Old Course, shooting a final round 66, and he also won the pro-am part of the competition with his mother as his partner. How can you not like that? No doubt he gained fans by being in the Netflix documentary “Full Swing.” Everyone seems to love that series.
Now a total newcomer is Aldrich Potgieter, from South Africa. Golfers from that country tend to have great bunker games and good putting. Is it like a shot they get when they are born? You know measles, mumps and putting? And guess what? He hits it a mile, too. Of course, they all do these days. You might put him on your radar. If not for a win, maybe a place or show. It would be a surprise if he didn’t make the cut.
You may wonder why we didn’t mention: Neal Shipley, low am at last year’s Masters. Well, he’s not in the top 50 and didn’t play well enough in the first four tournaments of the year to quality. He still has some time, but it’s fleeting. He’s probably a 2027 story.
Here’s what Sophie wonders: Are Max Greyserman, Ryo Hisatsune and Pierceson Coody going to last on the leaderboard beyond the second round? Is Chris Gotterup going to win a third tournament before THE PLAYERS? That would be something. Has Scottie Scheffler found his mojo or are his first rounds going to continue killing him?
As far as the weather cooperating, The Old Farmer’s Almanac says spring is going to be warm and dry in the Southeast. Since it hasn’t really rained with any enthusiasm in weeks, that’s probably not a good outlook for plants, but it’s great for golf. The fairways should be bouncy and firm. The greens should be like rocks. But you know something will happen to change that. We don’t know what, but it always does.
A.I. says, “March is expected to have near-average temperatures but above-average rainfall, with April and May leaning warmer and drier than normal.”
No offense to anybody’s new outfit that could be rain-damaged, but it’s been so dry here that we could use a good downpour, just not during the tournament. So dry that I hope people will put their leftover ice on the ground to melt so we at least get some liquid replenishment.
And as far as temperatures, we can get anything from freezing to 80s in March. That’s a pretty wide range. A blind-folded weather man could just point to numbers on a wall and get a reasonable forecast.
What I want to know is when are allergy medicine companies going to sponsor the tournament? The pollen count is high and growing. Nobody measures which players suffer, so it’s hard to really factor all the variables and come up with a proper choice. How about an official tissue sponsor? Kleenex anyone? Puffs? Scotties? (I see a deal there!)
Well, it might be time for an outfit change and a triple toe loop from Sophie. A.I. has come up with some computer-generated names in case the Sophie moniker doesn’t work out.
A.I. says: Harper, Avery, Madison, Riley, Hayden, Dakota, Lindsey, Robin, Madhu, Marley, Morgan or Taylor.
No, none of them make her want to do a sit spin. But wait, now she’s sparkling. She has a suggestion! She’s found it. She wants to be called: Ricki.
And her pick, officially, is Sam Burns.
