A long friendship, much like a hand-woven tapestry, is a testament to a shared history. We admire both for their beauty and resilience, yet a deeper look reveals the interwoven moments that create the foundation of this friendship. I would like to think that this comparison is more than just a simple metaphor. Getting to Know You with Paula is a place that celebrates the friendships of our friends and neighbors as they navigate their way through the Golden Years.
Weaving a tapestry, thread by thread, is like the way a friendship is built. Today, I am sitting down with two women who have been friends for 45 years. I have asked them if we could chat about the art of friendship and how important friends are, particularly as we grow older.
Both Evie and Linda agree that supporting a good friendship is particularly important and that it involves the delicate art of knowing when to speak and when to listen. Whenever, I asked “the girls” a question, they stumbled over each other bragging on the other one but never about themselves. They clearly have their own two-person fan club!
Their lasting bond was cemented when one asked the other one to help her with a video presentation for her in-laws’ 50th wedding anniversary. Prior to this, they had been “work” friends. Now, as they poured over a lifetime of old black and white photos, they found themselves laughing and sharing family stories recognizing how similar their families were and how much they had in common.
These two ladies were at the forefront of change in their generation. Not content to sit on the sidelines, they were both trailblazers. Evie received her M.A. in religious studies from Villanova after having four children and the last one started first grade. She has 30 years of teaching experience on the elementary as well as high school level. Linda has an M.S. in instructional technology from West Chester University and has 45 years of experience working with high schools and colleges.
Over time a friendship, much like our tapestry, reveals a rich narrative. The back of a tapestry displays its knots and chaotic threads. There may be some havoc from time to time but that does not mean the friendship is in trouble. Rather, it is a testament to the resilience and the ability to weather changes. Changes are inevitable, but good friendships are built to last through love and respect and lots of laughter.
I next asked both ladies what they most admired about the other one. Linda was quick to answer.
“Oh, I just have always loved and admired the way Evie opens her heart and her home so freely,” she said. “Do you know that she gets up in the morning, does her chores and then opens the door to her apartment? This is her sign to all that pass by to come in, have a cup of coffee and sit awhile. That’s just how she is, she has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known.”
Her friend tsk-tsked her, saying, “That’s nothing. Linda is the kindest person. In all the years that we have been friends I have never, and I mean NEVER, heard her express an unkind word about anyone. No matter what the situation, she finds a way to analyze it and produce reasons why we should be more understanding, charitable or forgiving. She has taught me to temper my remarks. I know I can be a bit impetuous at times, but Linda balances that with her thoughtful insights. I’m grateful for that quality in my friend.”
As we wind down our conversation, I ask if they feel there is a “secret” to keeping a lifelong friendship.
“Respect and honesty,” they both answer almost in unison. “And don’t forget to talk, just talk about everything “adds Evie.
“Bare your soul. Do not be afraid. She is your friend, and you can tell her anything” adds Linda, and they both smile.
I ask one last question before leaving: “If someone were to make a movie of your friendship, what would the title be?”
It takes a minute and then Evie answers, “Two Peas in a Pod.” They both smile at that.
The tapestry is complete. It is a beautiful piece of work; its beauty derived from those countless individual threads. A friendship is a testimony to the power of small efforts made over many years. It is a creation rich with the woven threads of shared laughter, quiet understanding and unwavering commitment. A friendship like this speaks to the enduring artistry of human connection.
Friends share in the marriages, the births, graduations, illness and loss. They are there for each other. They share their wisdom, their humor, recipes and support.
Many of you have an Evie or a Linda in your lives. Take the time to thank them for all they mean to you. If you would like to tell us a little bit about your special friend, send a paragraph to two to me at pmf3641@gmail.com, and I will do my best to share them with our readers.
