by the way...

“Press one for yes, two for no” and feel good


At 8:00 AM a couple of Tuesdays ago I was eating my gluten-free, steel-cut oatmeal with no-sugar coconut milk, blueberries and slivered almonds and … what’s that horrible stuff? Oh yes. Flawhen it happened. I found myself watching HSN, the Home Shopping Network. NOT AGAIN!! Who put it on that channel??? I swore I wouldn’t watch it after my last fiasco when I cut my finger on a kitchen device I’d sent away for, but the hawkers sucked me in. And are they good at it.

They were selling luggage. Now, I am a sucker for wonderful suitcases, but I travel so little it’s ridiculous to have a bunch of carry-ons. I watched for ten minutes and was about to switch to the news when they started selling Perlier, in three-liter bath and shower cream containers. I am also a sucker for this. I do use shower cream or gel every day. I buy bottles at a bath shop regularly, but they are small. This three-liter size is huge and would last me for a whole year. Besides if I use it I will “feel good,” and, the company says, my skin will be transformed! Now who doesn’t want transformed skin?

Perlier tells me it uses “Gorgeous Italian formulations.” I wrote that down so it must be true. The TV screen shows miles and miles of lavender waving in the winds of somewhere in Italy or France. And the flavors, or I guess I should say scents, smell so good the company writes on every jar that this product is not for eating. Shea butter plays a huge part in these eight blends: White lily, white almond, lavender, snow drop, latte, orange, butter almond, and honey. The dude who is head of the company says someone told him “It’s as though an angel walked into the room.” My pets will like that, although they already think I am an angel. I hope bees and mosquitoes don’t like to bite angels and aren’t going to be attracted to the smell. Swooning, I ordered the shea butter/white almond one.

I vowed I’d never order another thing from HSN. The S&H is nasty (CHARGE ME FOR SHIPPING! DON’T HANDLE IT! JUST SHIP IT!) It will arrive within a week.

About ten minutes ago I spoke to a wise friend who said, “Did you look for it on line?”

There was silence on my end. Once again, I had forgotten to check something out online. I could have gotten it for half the price. But there are worse things to worry about…