As a professional organizer, I see a lot of similar “stuff” in clients’ homes. There are overflowing bookshelves, bulging clothes closets, guest (“catch-all”) rooms, cluttered offices and disorganized kitchens. Some garages have room for a car or two, while others serve as storage units. Paper piles tower on desks or are hidden away in drawers and bins. Everyone has stuff, and for some, purging it is an overwhelming task.
What makes it overwhelming is not just the sheer quantity to deal with, but the memories attached to things. Well-meaning family members and friends sometimes gift or pass things down to us that we don’t particularly want but aren’t sure what to do with.
There are two groups of clients in particular who are straining under the weight of stuff. The first are members of the sandwich generation: those who are raising children while beginning to care for or assist their aging parents. They tend to the everyday needs of their families and all the associated things that accumulate. Not only do they need to corral a growing collection of school papers and their children’s’ artwork; but also photos, memorabilia, and furniture that is beginning to trickle down from older generations.
The other group is Baby Boomers. They have raised families and collected decades-worth of their own belongings as well as the estates from one or both parents. Some even rent storage units to house it all, while others dutifully make it part of their decor, whether they want it or not.
I’ve heard clients announce, “This table has to stay in the family. My siblings don’t want it, so I am saving it for my kids/grandchildren/nieces/nephews.” Others save old bikes, school desks and toys for their children, only to find they had outgrown them or didn’t want them.
Unwanted gifts
One of my clients hired me to help her clean out and organize her office. The “desk” consisted of two folding tables in an L-shape and was covered with random stacks of paper, office supplies, knick-knacks and general clutter. It was an overwhelming project for her, and she didn’t know where to begin. I suggested we start at one end and methodically work our way around the tables, making numerous decisions on random items as we got to them. We were laser-focused and winning the war on clutter.
As we neared the end of the tables, I noticed a tall beer stein with a Budweiser logo sitting at the back of the table. It seemed out of place.
“What do you want to do with this?” I asked my client.
“Ooooh I HATE that thing!” she snarled. “But it was from Uncle Walt, so I guess I have to keep it until he dies, right?” She sounded resigned and annoyed.
“No, you don’t,” I replied.
“I don’t?” My client looked excited and hopeful.
“No, because unfortunately it broke after much use,” I suggested.
She happily carried it to the donation box and added it to the pile of “unwanteds.” I’m not condoning lying, but Uncle Walt was not likely to ever visit her home. If someone gives you something, it’s yours to do whatever you want with it. You have free will and permission to let it go.
Merriam-Webster defines memory as the power or process of reproducing or recalling what has been learned…and…the store of things learned and retained.” Nothing is mentioned about tables, tricycles or beer steins. So, what to do with all of the memories taking up space in your home? Here are some ideas:
Reduce the footprint:
• Take photos with, or of the object. Then let go of it. This is what one client did with her father’s numerous awards and accolades.
• Digitize your children’s favorite artwork using Shutterfly, Artkive or Plum Print. Want something truly unique? Try Fivver or Etsy.
• Digitize old media such as VHS tapes (these can degrade in less than 10 years!), film reels, photo slides and cassette tapes. Try Legacybox, ScanCafe or iMemories. Afraid to put your memories in the mail? Support a local business. Don’t forget to search Groupon and LivingSocial for discounts. Are you a do-it-yourselfer? Consider purchasing a converter kit to transfer tapes.
• Cull photos and paperwork to just the very best. Why keep unflattering or mediocre photos and schoolwork? The same goes for things that evoke sadness or anger. This is your chance to destroy the evidence and negative energy.
Just let go:
Bring out your inner Marie Kondo and thank it for its service, then send it on its way.
Luggage:
• Donate it: Take to a shelter or foster care agency. Tip: Use the luggage you are keeping for storing travel-related supplies.
Furniture:
• Sell it: You can try selling through the Facebook marketplace, Craig’s list, or consignment shops, but know that big brown furniture is everywhere. The market for antique furniture peaked in the ’90’s and you may not get what you think the value is. Have something really special? Try Chairish.com, an online consignment shop.
• Donate it:
⁃ Call the Salvation Army or Goodwill to arrange pickups.
⁃ Habitat for Humanity uses the ReSupply app to coordinate furniture donations.
⁃ Vietnam Vets can pick up many items, including small pieces of furniture. Visit scheduleapickup.com.
• Give it away: Someone just starting out (think college students and young families) might appreciate your castoffs. If word of mouth doesn’t work, post a curb alert through the Freecycle or NextDoor apps.
Musical instruments:
• Sell it: Sell on Craigslist, the Facebook Marketplace, or Reverb - a specialty site. Reverb has lower seller fees than eBay.
• Donate it: Contact local schools with music programs or community organizations such as the Cathedral Arts Project (capkids.org).
• Give it away.
Books:
• Sell it: Local used bookstores such as Chamblin’s, Black Sheep Books and 2nd & Charles will offer a flat fee or higher in-store credit. Online options include BookScouter, Cash4Books and Decluttr.
• Donate it: Check with your local library, middle and high schools before taking nonfiction and historical books to your local Goodwill. School librarians say older books (with maps, especially) are really helpful to students doing research.
• Give it away: Offer to friends and family, post curb alerts or take to the nearest littlefreelibrary.com.
Clothes:
• Sell it: Try local consignment shops but read the fine print to make sure you are aware of guidelines. Some offer higher rates for couture clothing, purses and shoes. Online options to try are thredUP.com, poshmark.com, Tradesy.com, Etsy.com (for handmade and vintage items), rebagg.com (purses and bags), therealreal.com (designer), kidizen.com (children’s clothing).
• Donate it: Wearable clothing can be donated to many local charities. Have some NWT (new with tags) clothing appropriate for office wear? Consider taking to shops that support women’s shelters, such as Hubbard House or Purple Dove Resale (Nassau County) or the City Rescue Mission.
• Give it away: Host a clothing swap party among friends! Invite everyone to bring wearables in mint condition and let the trading begin…
Still having difficulty parting with your loved one’s cherished memories? Hire a professional. A licensed therapist can help you work through past and present issues affecting your mental health. Ready to move forward? A professional organizer can help coach you through the process and recommend resources to pass your memories along.
