If we want to have a life full of stress-relieving, life-appreciating, joy-delivering, mood-lifting, source-connecting, butt-kicking feelings, then we need to say NO more often! We must harness the power of a little word that often takes incredible courage to say and remarkably hard to receive; NO! When most people are asked to do something, especially for friends, family, or relatives, they fold like a paper bag and say YES. I refer to this behavior, as the “disease to please.” I suggest that 19th-century American humorist Henry Wheeler Shaw (AKA Josh Billings nailed it when he said, “Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying ‘yes’ too quickly and not saying, ‘no’ soon enough.” Life is only as complicated as we let it become, which is why we must learn to say NO to the things that damage us without feeling guilty, awkward or scared, so we can say yes to health, abundance, and happiness.
Tyranny of the urgent is a battle that we all fight, which takes time away from what is truly important while we focus on the urgent. Very seldom are the urgent things the most important things. The conflict between urgent vs. important is a recurring theme in Dr. Stephen R. Covey’s work from “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.” Unless we can get better at saying NO, our lives are likely to feel out of control and overcrowded. Love, joy and peace are incompatible with hurry. Therefore, if you are like me, it’s time to stop and consider the cost of succumbing to YES. NO liberates while YES commits! Although NO is perceived as a confrontational word, I beg to differ. I suggest that it is a beautiful word. Maybe one of the most beautiful we will ever speak, as it helps us to become better, stronger and wiser. Moreover, when we say NO we are giving the gift of truth. In other words, we are not saying YES when the truth is that we want to say NO. Perhaps Dr. Seuss conveys my position more clearly, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
People comment about my ability to keep up a highly disciplined and structured schedule. They think I am naturally disciplined. Nothing could be further from the truth. Yes, I am methodical, and I maintain strict habits, but nothing is natural. Just like most people, my rational mind wants a fabulous beach body, but my emotional mind wants the chocolate chip cookie. I fight the temptation every day to say YES to distractions, but I have become good at saying NO because I know the pain of discipline hurts a lot less than the pain of regret. Say no to grow! Confucius never said that, but he definitely was thinking it!
Harry Pappas Jr. CFP®
Managing Director-Investments
Master of Science Degree Personal Financial Planning
Certified Estate & Trust Specialist ™
Certified Divorce Financial Analyst™
Pappas Wealth Management Group of Wells Fargo Advisors
818 North Highway A1A, Ste. 200
Ponte Vedra, Florida 32082
904-273-7955
harry.pappas@wellsfargoadvisors.com
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